awarity

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On Vox: subterfuge

The thing about that is...even the most simplest of minds will see through it eventually. So just stop.

Originally posted on awarity.vox.com

Posted at 12:32 am | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

On Vox: dirty joke

There once was a little boy.

He jumped into a mud puddle.

Originally posted on awarity.vox.com

Posted at 11:14 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

On Vox: we dream

I have one that will probably never come to fruition but I think it's a good idea if nothing else.

I want to own my own coffee shop. The kicker? I'll have books, too. So, it's a coffee shop that also has books. NOT a Borders or Barnes & Noble that sells books and has a small coffee shop inside. MY store will sell primarily coffee and have a books available for sale, or browsing, or borrowing while drinking coffee. Whatever. Don't wanna buy a book? No problem. This works out okay because the price for my exquisite coffee willl rival Starbucks'.

I shall call it...

"The Kafke House"

Originally posted on awarity.vox.com

Posted at 08:19 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

On Vox: words of wisdom uttered by a drunk man at the Driskill Hotel

"The palest ink has more impact than the strongest memory." - Larry Simpson, writer

I meet the most interesting people sometimes.

Originally posted on awarity.vox.com

Posted at 11:40 am | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

On Vox: absent minded-ness

My memory was at one time razor sharp. It was the one thing I could be proud of and got me through my years of high school with very little (if any) studying, actually doing my homework, and somehow graduating with honors anyway. Now, I'm sometimes worried about my lack of memory but mostly blame beer and daily distractions. I've always been a little bit absent-minded, especially when I was a kid. I'd preferred to daydream, write short stories, gaze at the stars, catch grasshoppers, smell the flowers and watch the bees and butterflies do that magical dance of ensuring that life continues. The same is true today despite the distractions of survival. You'd be surprised how comforting that it is to me that I have a history of being absent-minded.

In early May I got a letter from the UT MD Anderson Cancer Center. Here's what it said:

Dear Ms. Gummi,
Thank you for coming to the Blood Driver (yes, it had a typo).
Because of your history of having spent time on a military base that adds up to six months or more in Germany, from 1980 through 1996, you were found to be ineligible to donate that day. The reason you were refused is that, according to current U.S. Food and Drug Administration guidelines, you may be at risk for variant CJD that may be transmitted by transfusion.
From now on, you should not donate blood, blood components, body organs, or other tissues for transfusion. Also, your name will be placed on an internal, confidential, computerized list of deferred donors.
Blah blah blah.

I guess it's not so confidential now, is it?

There are many, many things wrong with this letter. It's so incredibly impersonal...really just a "let's cover our asses by sending the news in writing so we can throw it in a file and prove she was notified in the event it comes back to bite us one day" type of letter. What the fuck is variant CJD, anyway? When you get a letter like this, you have to find out on your own. So I did. I wanted to know what it is that prevents me from ever donating blood or body parts ever again and so I immediately consulted Wikipedia.

In short, it's the human form of mad cow disease. That's the disease that eats holes in your brain until you die. The first symptom is one day you suddenly have early dementia and then uncontrollable seizures. It's very rare and always fatal, as far as anyone knows. It started appearing in the mid-90s when some fucked up factory farms started feeding dead cow parts to fatten up their cows. Then people ate those dead cows. Most of them lived in the UK. Almost all of Europe is at risk because most of their beef is imported. It is bothersome to me that I am just now finding out about this 15 years later. I donated blood just one year ago with no problem. Now suddenly I'm a risk factor. What about everyone I was stationed with in Germany...they won't find out until they one day attempt to donate blood? How about all of those people who have been donating on a regular basis for the last 15 years? Surely I would have known by now if I had vCJD, right?

No. According to Wikipedia, this disease is similar to kuru which has affected people in New Guinea who cannibalize their dead as part of a mourning ritual. It can have an incubation period of 30 - 50 years. 50 YEARS!?! So, anytime between now and when I'm 85 it could show up?

I was already disgusted at the inhumane treatment of animals. Suddenly it has become a very personal issue. I'm trying to forget about it, so to speak. But I feel like I need to take some sort of action. I'm not sure what to do.

I guess I'll just continue living in the moment. No regrets.

Originally posted on awarity.vox.com

Posted at 10:10 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

On Vox: Tech QotD: The Internet 10 Years Ago...

What do you miss most about the internet of ten years ago?

Pulling an all nighter in the Simpson's Trivia chat room.

Originally posted on awarity.vox.com

Posted at 10:01 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

On Vox: When sleep is elusive...

I think too much.

Originally posted on awarity.vox.com

Posted at 06:18 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

On Vox: Things on Tuesday

of interest:

Bus People

the young guy who wears a kilt
the pretty 20 something blonde girl who seems somewhat simple-minded, wears a diaper, and has a black eye that is probably a result of the heavy hand of the mean guy she follows around
the black woman who is surrounded by "dead people who won't stop talking"
a woman who carefully tends to a baby in a stroller that turns out to actually be an infant-sized plastic doll
the heavily-bearded homeless man who takes time out from napping at various bus stops to cool off for a bit on a bus ride and plays the air drums with real drum sticks
the old biddy who shakes her cane and verbally threatens the bus driver because he did not lower the bus as she was exiting to the curb
and then there's me - twice a day for 30-45 minutes I completely take advantage of the opportunity to zone out and not affect anyone else's life

Originally posted on awarity.vox.com

Posted at 11:09 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

On Vox: Tina Gina

Halloween fun.

Tinagina

Originally posted on awarity.vox.com

Posted at 12:16 am | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

On Vox: Self Discovery

It fucking sucks. And I'm beginning to suspect it's a crock of shit.

I loathe getting bogged down in existentialism.

Say you habitually pick the wrong people to get involved with. Say you're impressionable, a gemini, in flux, someone who at times resembles a chameleon. Not in a bad way - rather an avid learner of all things of the world, eager to absorb all that it and it's inhabitants have to offer. You embrace the intricacies of life. You understand the necessity of good and bad to co-exist. You understand the need for balance of all things and that we've inexorably strayed from that... but I digress.

The wrong people will effectively break you down and mold you to into their servant, robbing you of your individuality. This is not always intentional and it can be hard to turn away from them. But maybe, once the fog is lifted and a few rays of common sense break through, you have just enough moxie to rebel. Consequently you are no longer of any use and cast aside. This is supposed to be your cue to "find yourself". This is supposed to be growth.

It is extremely difficult to find the way back to your path. If there ever truly was one. Maybe some of us are wanderers. And maybe that's okay despite what "they" say. When do you know you've had enough "self discovery"? When does it ever feel right? What if you've never felt that? What's wrong with knowing you're already strong enough and ignoring what "they" say we should do and think and feel? I say fuck their definition of growth. It makes you feel old.

But when does the loneliness go away so you can be comfortable simply with being?

What do I want?

I want to be real. The genuine novelty that I am. I want to dart in and out of the various phases of my life. I wish I could spend more time with people like me. I might be the only one who feels that way, but I'm okay with that. I've had enough "growth" to last my lifetime.

Originally posted on awarity.vox.com

Posted at 02:43 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

On Vox: Music QotD: First Concert

What was your first concert?

My face is red with embarrassment as I write this...but the very first concert I ever attended was in Wichita and the hottest boy band at the time danced their jigs and sang from their hearts as if we were the only crowd they had ever sung for...those Boys from Boston: New Kids on the Block.

Hey! My uncle bought the ticket! I was obligated to go.

YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TELL ANYONE.

Originally posted on awarity.vox.com

Posted at 12:43 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

On Vox: Culture QotD: What food reminds you of your childhood?

What food reminds you of your childhood?

Liver and onions. Gag.

To this day I very clearly recall a select few traumatic incidents involving liver and onions and at the time was convinced I was being abused. This is the type of food that penetrates every nook and cranny and is impossible to escape for HOURS. My parents finally gave up their enjoyment of it when they realized I was never going to be open-minded about eating liver.

Originally posted on awarity.vox.com

Posted at 12:33 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

On Vox: Mild lop-sided mydriasis

Dilated g2

Despite the motion sickness, I wish it was permanent.

Originally posted on awarity.vox.com

Posted at 06:38 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

On Vox: awarity

Sometimes I forget what 'awarity' means. It does not appear in the dictionary (yet), but here's what it means to me:

Live in the moment, because we really only have the here and now. Do this, and the future will take care of itself.
In turn, you will become intensely self-aware. Sometimes this is hard, but you must deal with yourself.
Realize that every task set before you is important.
Colors will become brighter, people more bearable, conversations more stimulating, emotions more intense.
Adversity will not go away, but is easier to overcome.

All without the use of stimulants or depressants.

Originally posted on awarity.vox.com

Posted at 01:48 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

On Vox: Things on Tuesday

Happy things:

Springtime
receiving a flower from a fellow bus rider
peering out through a real pair of rose-colored glasses
being privy to a live one-man comedy show - I'm still laughing
wrapping up long pending projects at work
overtime payout
finding old polaroids
bacon
The World

Things I don't like:

overuse of 'lol' ... make that ANY use of 'lol'
finding out a friend's wedding shower is the same day as Eeyore's birthday party poses quite a dilemma
Facebook
in your face media that distorts reality

Originally posted on awarity.vox.com

Posted at 08:34 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

On Vox: big news in OK

I remember one blizzard in all my life when I was about 16. My car got stuck in a 4ft snow drift (don't ask how or why that happened). Not that we got that much snow, but the wind whips up drifts as tall as statues. My Mom says it's not that bad this time, but here's the most important news of the day in the Oklahoma Panhandle:

Weather halts paper delivery!!!

o

SHAWN YORKS/The Guymon Daily Herald
Traffic moves along at a snail's pace on Main Street between Fifth and Sixth streets in Guymon on Friday morning. A blizzard began Thursday night in the Oklahoma Panhandle and continued in full force Friday. Upwards of 18 inches of snow with 10- to 20-foot snowdrifts are expected in Texas County by Saturday morning.
The Guymon Daily Herald newspaper may not be delivered Friday due to extreme weather conditions and for the safety of the carriers. Circulation manager Peggy Martinez said that she hopes to get the papers out as soon as possible, but the Friday edition may not be delivered until Sunday depending on weather conditions on Saturday.
The Friday edition can be bought in racks in Guymon and at dealers.
In other weather-related news:
•U.S. Highway 64 is closed between Guymon and the New Mexico State Line, which includes Cimarron County and the City of Boise City.
•U.S. Highway 412 in Texas County has been closed.
•An emergency storm shelter for travelers stranded in Guymon is opening at 11 a.m. Friday at the Victory Memorial United Methodist Church in Guymon.
•All public school districts in the Oklahoma Panhandle are closed Friday.
•Guymon municipal offices are closed Friday.
•The Ride will not operate Friday or Saturday in Guymon.

Originally posted on awarity.vox.com

Posted at 12:33 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

On Vox: cat boxing

An oldie but goodie

Boxingmatch

Sox has a bad-ass right cross.

Originally posted on awarity.vox.com

Posted at 10:43 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

On Vox: you have got to be KIDDING ME

In flipping through the 4 channels I have on my TV, I happened to stumble upon the intro to 13:Fear is Real on CW. HUGE mistake. I can't believe reality TV has stooped to a such a low...a sub-gutter disgusting and VILE reflection of pop culture. Are people really entertained by this idiotic piffle?

I'm speechless.

I should go ahead and subscribe to cable to lessen the chance of accidentally flipping to this channel again.